I wish things were different right now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I can’t pinpoint what exactly, but it seems like something is off\u2014misplaced.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I’ve been looking at the horizon for way too long. So long I forgot to look a few metres ahead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yeah, that made me stumble a few times. Perhaps more than I would have if I’d been paying attention to the present.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Although I keep telling myself that whatever this<\/em> is, it’s just momentary\u2014that everything is fine even though all feels crappy right now\u2014I can hear the hesitation in my own voice. I can feel <\/em>it cracking through the words, breaking their meaning into crumbles of meaningless nothing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I mean… I’ve been openly telling people that I’m not alright. And I’m sure they trust my word. I’ve been telling myself the same. And I do trust myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Like a ghost, I’ve been haunted by this tremendous need to flee. To run as fast as I can towards anywhere but where I’m headed. To escape this trap and find my way back to the warm light that I can see, but for some reason can’t reach.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Why can’t I move? Why am I restrained?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Can I fix this?<\/p>\n\n\n\n I’m about to bolt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n My legs are positioned, one after the other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Chest proud.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Eyes on the prize.<\/p>\n\n\n\n One last deep breath before I go.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Should I go, though?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n All I have to do is move forward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n All I need is my feet to do their thing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Feet don’t fail me now.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Please\u2014pretty please… Don’t fail me now.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I wish things were different right now. I can’t pinpoint what exactly, but it seems like something is off\u2014misplaced. I’ve been looking at the horizon for way too long. So long I forgot to look a few metres ahead. Yeah, that made me stumble a few times. Perhaps more than I would have if I’d […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-183","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/journal.igarachi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/183","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/journal.igarachi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/journal.igarachi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/journal.igarachi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/journal.igarachi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=183"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/journal.igarachi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/183\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":184,"href":"https:\/\/journal.igarachi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/183\/revisions\/184"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/journal.igarachi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=183"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/journal.igarachi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=183"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/journal.igarachi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=183"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}