{"id":172,"date":"2024-04-08T11:45:55","date_gmt":"2024-04-08T18:45:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/journal.igarachi.com\/?p=172"},"modified":"2024-04-08T13:09:00","modified_gmt":"2024-04-08T20:09:00","slug":"the-keep-going-type-of-guy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/journal.igarachi.com\/index.php\/2024\/04\/08\/the-keep-going-type-of-guy\/","title":{"rendered":"the keep-going type of guy"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

These days, while slouching on the couch, I found myself observing my apartment. Though I have been living here for more than two years now, I was meticulously analysing every corner my sight could reach without me having to move.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Wow,” was the first thought that came to mind. “I live here.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don’t get me wrong. I am not bragging. My apartment is a regular one-bedroom far enough from downtown that I can afford it. And that<\/em> is my first recognition of accomplishment. I can<\/em> afford a one-bedroom apartment all by myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This realization caused me awe <\/em>for two reasons:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \n
  1. I am normally beating myself up, constantly thinking that I am far behind, that I am late, and that I should be more than what I am at any given moment;<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  2. I am the “keep-going” type of guy. The one that keeps battling, even when the war is over. I just keep fighting, not stopping to celebrate victories or to recognise my accomplishments once in a while.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    Nonetheless, surprisingly there was I, not only acknowledging a victory but also celebrating<\/em> it, praising myself for being where I dreamt to be. It wasn’t easy to get here and for the first time I actually saw that. I comprehended that and assimilated it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I was stunned. And that felt good. Good enough that made me wonder why I don’t do it often. Why don’t I recognise more my accomplishments instead of dragging myself down for things I haven’t gotten yet? Why do I keep complaining about what I don’t have and completely ignore all the thing I do have, things that were once a dream and now are a reality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I think this is part of our eternal human duality: Wanting what we don’t have while not appreciating what we do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I once dreamt that I was going to be who I am today: someone living abroad, being able to afford themselves, having an independent life, and surrounded by good people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    That dream once came true. I guess I was too busy to keep dreaming more, focusing too much on the goal and too little on the journey.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I once dreamed that I was me… And that… That is my everything<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    ***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    For the first time, I look myself in the mirror and I appreciate what I see. Yes, I do have some crowfeet, yes, I can easily spot white hair on my head now, and yes, my skin isn’t as lush.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    But that is who I am now. And before I wasn’t as grown up as I am now. I am my own upgrade, and that feels awesome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Not long ago I thought I was close to my rock bottom, but, in reality, I don’t even know where that is, because I don’t really think I ever experienced it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    It is no longer about waiting for a sunny day to feel complete. It’s about enduring the dark rainy days while keeping my inner light intact.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    “Yeah” I gasp in relief, “I think I finally re-found myself.” <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    These days, while slouching on the couch, I found myself observing my apartment. Though I have been living here for more than two years now, I was meticulously analysing every corner my sight could reach without me having to move. “Wow,” was the first thought that came to mind. “I live here.” Don’t get me […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-172","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/journal.igarachi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/172","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/journal.igarachi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/journal.igarachi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/journal.igarachi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/journal.igarachi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=172"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/journal.igarachi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/172\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":176,"href":"https:\/\/journal.igarachi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/172\/revisions\/176"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/journal.igarachi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=172"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/journal.igarachi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=172"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/journal.igarachi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=172"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}