I woke up this morning with a bruise on my left knee. I don’t recall how I got it or why it is there. It’s just sitting here like it is a memento of a trauma that is yet to be healed.

I don’t have to close my eyes to spectate flashes of our last talk and how much we hurt each other. I remember watching your eyes through the tears barricading them and asking myself “How did we get here?”… “Why must it be like this?”.

Need I not say that dreams were dismantled both for us? My heart descended to a profound abysm just like yours did as we watched every single thing we pictured for our future falling through the gaps of our fingers like sand. I lost as much as you did and you should know it by now.

You once said you had more to lose. What could that even mean? How can you weigh things you are not aware of? It is unjust for you to think your sacrifices are the only ones that count. There are always two sides to a story. What about mine?

Your recent words pierced my flesh like never before. And I regret listening to them as I still don’t agree with how things were portrayed.

I truly hope you never feel the slightest remorse for what you said to me. You complained that I barely apologised for how I handled things, for how I made you feel… Now I ask you: Have you ever apologised for what you did to me? Do you really think you were the only one living a nightmare? Not recognising your faults on this won’t make things better for us. It will only cover the mistakes, not fix them. Fingers crossed that someday you will understand this. Not for me, but for yourself.

So… I throw you one last smile and say farewell to you. I don’t wave goodbye as I turn my back to you and walk away. I don’t look back nor regret any of the steps forward I am taking right now.

I still wish you nothing but the best, though I won’t say it. And as we get more distant, like celestial bodies being pulled away by forces from opposite directions, I long for your happiness. I really do. But now, from afar.

Eventually, in due course, you will become a vague memory to me as I, too, will to you. Once this happens, we will know, even if unconsciously, that our story is finally sealed.

And then, I am sure, there will be no more hurting.