I am looking at a blank page, trying to transcribe all these bubbly feelings inside. The urgency to let it all out is strong, so much so that I can’t hold back. Yet, I stutter. All I can get is a set of repetitive words and phrases that I have already used in many of my writings.
I start by describing a scene that depicts how the sunlight is beautifully embellishing the environment, before I can finish this sentence, I press the backspace repeatedly.
When I finally relax, after repeating the process above a few times, I get back to the keyboard eager to fulfill this calling to put my thoughts on paper. Many images and scenes flood my brain, making it so hard to process everything… Memories mixed with made-up stories in my mind flash before my eyes as soon as I close them.
And then I see you. And us. In a blend of recollections and fiction. I can barely distinguish what is real and what isn’t. I randomly feel the jeans jacket you were wearing on that cold night, both of us shivering but not wanting to be the one to call it a night. More and more scenes drench my brain without my consent.
I don’t hold back a giggle. I am scared to death, but can’t really not follow my rule #1: avoid holding back. So I don’t. As reckless as I can be.
“Uh Oh”, I say before I sigh. In one of those “Aha” I realise the obvious.
Yes, I think I just caught a cold.